Greetings to all!! I
pray the day is treating you well. I always
try in my post to provide some insight and something motivational to help others
work through trials and have a positive outlook on the different challenges of
life. As I share these post, it serves
to be a moment of inspiration and clarity for me. They are always personal and are birthed from
some personal experience I would have recently had.
The loss of those we love is difficult for anyone. I have experienced it a few times in my life
and the process never gets any easier.
We hope we are lucky enough to make wonderful memories with those we care
so much for. We should, while they are
living, take advantage of the time we are able to spend together. I find that the fear of loss is what is
frightful. To be left to live without
those we care so much about is difficult to imagine but we all know it is a
time that will come sooner or later.
Some loss occurs unexpectedly…….a car accident, a heart attack
or any other event that would take our loves one before we (or they) are
prepared. Then of course there is loss
that occurs due to ailing health, when you know your loved one will soon
pass. Let’s not forget old age…..none of
us are immortal.
The loss of my Grandmother Sneed was the first time I really
experienced that emotion and the void that is left when someone so dear to you
is no longer here. She suffered from
cancer……such an awful disease. I was 27
years old. She was my Mother’s mother
and the only Grandparent I really knew.
I won’t say I was ready for her to go but I had an understanding of her
condition, her age and the effects of cancer.
When my Great-Aunts passed away, I was prepared more for their
death. They were elderly and becoming
sick so I knew that time would come.
I was fortunate enough to work for a great leader. Dr. Steffan was my mentor and someone I
looked up to. He taught me everything I
know about dentistry. He too was
diagnosed with cancer. His death however
was unexpected. We thought he was
getting treatment and would recover. We
had no idea how bad he was. When I
received the call that he had passed away, I was so shocked, scared, upset and
heartbroken. The funny thing about life
and death is that before Dr. Steffan passed away, I had a dream about him. We were at work and I saw Dr. Steffen pull up
outside. I needed to talk to him and as
I chased behind him, calling his name, I couldn’t catch him. He kept saying, “You know what to do Susan”. Those were his words to me and I kept telling
him I needed to speak to him but he wouldn’t stop for me to catch up. Shortly thereafter, he passed away. I had a few more dreams about him after that…..always
worked related and at a time when I was struggling and needed his guidance.
I have also had dreams about my best friend’s Mother, Mrs.
Bates. I loved her dearly and her death
had a big impact on me. She would be in
my dreams, always out of reach but around and I could see her and tried to talk
to her. I had a dream that my
Grandmother was living again. She was
living across the street from me but I could never see her and she would never
come out of the house. I thought she was
living although I knew she was not. I
had this recurring dream for some time before it finally just stopped.
Today I sit in the hospital.
I am forced to face the reality that my Father may soon depart this
earth. It is a moment of denial for
me. I look at him in the hospital bed
and can’t help but be optimistic that he is going to wake up and go home. He is 86 years old. He has had a wonderful life and has been
blessed beyond measure. I understand
however that he is ill and he is elderly.
He has Alzheimer’s, Dementia, cancer on his kidney and pneumonia. Even with all of that, he looks good, his
color is great, he is trying to talk and knows when you are around. We sit today and watch the beginning of the
National Republican Convention. My
father…….always the politician, the leader, the fighter and the crusader.
I don’t know what the next few days look like, the next few
weeks or the next few months. What I do
know is that I love my Father, I have been a good daughter and I know I have
made him proud.
Love you all!!!!