Saturday, March 29, 2014

Problem or Solution?

Greetings to all!!!  I pray the day is treating your well.  I heard something today that was eye opening to me.  When we focus on the problem, we will never see the solution!!  Wow!!  Really??!!  Well duh!!!  Something so simple is so true. 

I work in management and deal with different people and different problems everyday.  Some days it seems I am a firefighter and spend all my time putting out the flames and smothering the smoke before it becomes a full blown 5-alarm fire.  Part of the challenge and why I think so many "problems" are never resolved is because we spend time focused on the problem and not the solution. 

I get it....it is easy to complain....it is a lot easier to gripe about what is going on than it is to actually work on making the problem better.  Why?  Isn't it exhausting when someone complains all day long?  Doesn't it just suck the life right out of you when you hear constant negativity all day long?  Then stop it!!  Yes....YOU....STOP IT!!! 

You stop it!!!......Stop the person when they complain about something (at work, at home, etc.).  Stop and ask them, "So what are you going to do about it?".  If anyone brings me a complaint, then they better bring me a solution. 

You stop it!!!.....Stop feeding the negativity.  If you starve something, it will die.  Stop feeding into the drama and entertaining problems.  At this point, ACT and become part of the solution. 

You stop it!!!......Work on becoming the person who solves problems.  There is danger here though.  You can be the person who solves problems, but don't do it alone.  Use your problem solving skills and help others develop those same skills so everyone becomes part of the solution instead of everyone being part of the problem.  Don't be the lone firefighter. 

So, let's do this.....the next time someone brings you a problem I encourage you to STOP and ask qualifying questions.  What is the real problem?  Typically what they say first isn't the problem.  Dig deeper and uncover what is underneath.  Talk through possible options.  Ask why, what, who and how.  When you talk out the problem and discuss the challenges you have, a solution is always found. 

All of the things mentioned above require one key element.  It requires leadership.  Leadership includes trust.  It includes conversation.  It includes a commitment to being part of the solution and not part of the problem. 

Find your Mojo!!!  Love you all!!

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Re-define Who You Are

Greetings friends!!! I pray the day is treating you well. Question for today.....Whose job is it to tell us who we are? Who has to right to "define" the person we were, we are or who we are going to be? You can't control others opinions of you (although your actions and character influence their opinions) but you can completely control your opinion of yourself. We often compare ourselves to others. We compare our look, our possessions, our children and our families to those of others. In this social media obsessed world we live in we also compare ourselves to reality stars and celebrities as if they were our next door neighbors.

Well my dear friends.....I am here to tell you.....YOU define who you are and if you aren't satisfied with your life or yourself at this moment, then RE-DEFINE who you are and become the person you want to be. Now please understand....this message has one very clear point....you MUST learn to be happy with YOU and work to become the best you not the best imitation of someone else. We each have individual gifts, talents and attributes that make us who we are. If we spend our time trying to be someone else, then we will never achieve self satisfaction or the happiness we yearn to have.

Re-defining yourself can be many things. It is achieved by being open, honest, positive, accepting and a willingness to change. Sometimes it means stepping outside our comfort zone. We have to become uncomfortable to be comfortable again. Quite often our lives force us to re-define who we are. Life changing events such as marriage, children, loss of a loved one, changes at work, divorce or tragedy change the course of our lives and as we adapt to these changes we re-define the person we are. For example, I lived my life to the fullest in my 20's (who didn't right?!). I was responsible for myself only and took risk and did things that now, as a mother, I wouldn't dream of doing. It was time to "grow-up" and become a better me.....a better me so I could be the mom my son deserved. Life changing events can be the catalyst for change but more often than not we may need to re-define on our on accord and not wait for a special event to be the springboard to our better, enriched life.

So, how do you do this? Start with personal growth. Everything you know up to this point has gotten you this far. In order to become a better you, growth is essential. Read books with positive messages. One of my favorite books is What To Say When You Talk To Yourself by Shad Helmstetter. This book addresses our self talk. It is so easy for us to say what we can't do verses what we can. Changing your perception of yourself is the first step to re-defining and becoming a better you. The second step is to surround yourself with others who have achieved the success you wish to achieve and/or live a life with the values and morals you have or are working to embrace. If I want to become an executive at work, then I want to surround myself with other executives. If I want to open a business, I surround myself with other entrepreneurs. The key here is to identify the positive, uplifting support system you need and allow those individuals to be the loudest voice in your head. Lastly, it is important to set goals for yourself and write those goals down. If I have heard it once, I've heard it a million times.....Everyone should WRITE DOWN their goals. That is so true but writing down your goals is part 1. Part 2 is reading those goals-EVERYDAY. Remind yourself of everything you wish to achieve and who you want to be.  This way, when the "old you" tries to resurface, the "becoming you" will take center stage.

There is so much more I could write about but for me, the 3 steps mentioned above are the starting point for my re-definition. I will continue to grow and work towards improving myself. Everyday I fall in love with the person I am becoming.....and I am becoming the person I always wanted to be.  I pray the same for you.

Love you all!!!!!