Greetings friends!! I
pray the day is treating you well!!
Well…..today is my birthday…43 years young to be exact!! I am always grateful every birthday and thankful
for what has been given to me. I use my
birthday as a time to reflect on the last year of my life and the changes that
have occurred. This last year has been
one of transformation. When I turned 42
I was dealing with challenges and obstacles both personal and
professional. It was a time when I felt
I had very little control. It was a time
when I was being forced to grow and stretch myself more than I knew I
could.
Work was overwhelming…..travel and time away from home. Daddy was living with me, Porter was not
adjusting to my schedule from the year and honestly I felt like I was losing it
as a team member at work, a mother and a daughter.
What I learned last year after my birthday was that I was
stronger than any situation placed before me.
I began to understand that in order for me to handle all that was placed
upon me, I had to recognize and maximize my strengths while identifying my
weaknesses and turning those weaknesses into strengths.
Beginning with work……
My
work schedule was crazy and I was traveling every other week. I wasn’t performing at my peak or in my core
but staying in my extremes…..over promising and under delivering, working to
perform but not at mastery then drifting into no man’s land because there is
too much to do and not enough time (or time management) to do it in. My results did not reflect my abilities and I
allowed my personal life to spill over into my professional life. After a few hard conversations I understood
what was missing. I was missing. By that I
mean, I stopped thinking for myself, I stopped managing my business, I stopped
listening to my creative voice, I stopped being an Entrepreneur. I wasn’t doing anything I knew how to
do. Once I was able to see that, I was
able to change it. Change started
immediately. The changes at work began
to take flight the minute I made changes at home.
Then there was me……..
Who
knew how much stress effects one’s life?!?
I had never been a stress eater….food has never been my source of
comfort during times of turmoil. All of
a sudden I was eating chips (Cheetos to be exact), fast food and drinking wine
(okay, I still drink wine….just not as much LOL). When times at work were overwhelming I would
come home and eat Cheetos. When home was
overwhelming, I would eat Cheetos…..Cheetos and everything else turned into 25
additional pounds. Nothing like your
pants being too tight or seeing yourself in a picture to make you realize it is
time for a change. Have you ever been
able to rest your crossed arms on top of your stomach?! Yeah…….not a good look. I made a decision….a decision to regain control
of my life. My stress reliever was
working out. There is nothing like being
sick and tired of where you are to make changes. I followed an intense program and strict
diet. 6 weeks later, I was 25 pounds
lighter and still counting!! I knew that
the person looking in the mirror was not me and I wanted to see her again. I praised GOD for allowing me not only to
recognize my triggers and the consequence of allowing them to take control but
for giving me the internal strength and desire to overcome. As I transformed my body and cleared my mind,
things at work became clear and home became a lot easier.
A house is not a home…..
Porter
was not happy with the schedule I was working and I couldn’t blame him. He was also adjusting to changes at school
and with Daddy living with us. Being a 6th
grader introduced a new dynamic he was ready for but not ready for it when I
was barely around. Daddy moved in that
summer. His health was at the beginning
stages of a soon decline one year later.
I loved my time with him and we created some very special memories. No one prepares you for the changes your
parent will undergo as their age becomes a factor. The forgetfulness, falling, becoming
dependent and regressing to the stages of a young child and baby during the
beginning of their life. I had to learn
how to ask for help. I was grateful for
my patience and thankful I identified and accepted the role I was in at that
point. Porter saw his Grandfather
differently and we both appreciated our relationship with him and understood
how to overcome our perceived challenges.
It is time……
GOD
does not give us more than we can bear. HE
gives us exactly what we need and sometimes a little bit more. It is up to us on how we deal with all HE
places upon us. At work I trusted myself
and my team. We saw each day as a new
day to make a difference and raise our performance. We achieved the results and I learned exactly
what I was made of and who I was. For
myself, I relished in the process of transformation. I found great joy in being disciplined and
accountable. The physical changes were
only a small part of my transformation.
I have been able to connect with a part of my internal self I had never
found before. At home I showed my son
the true meaning of unconditional love. I watched him bond on a deeper level with my
father. I bonded on a deeper level with
my father as well and had a greater appreciation for what my mother did when
she cared for her mother.
If
only we had a crystal ball to tell us what was coming and all that life had
in store. I suppose if we did, life would
be kind of boring. The plus side would
be being able to tell those you love how you feel and never letting a single
moment go by.
Today
I am 43 years young. I reflect on the
last year of my life and I am so eternally grateful for all GOD has given to
me. I didn’t know that this year my
father wouldn’t be here to share this birthday with me. He was 43 when I was born and today so am
I. I found a birthday note he wrote to
me on my 39th birthday. His
message is a true now as it was then. The
good Lord has not given me a lot of loss.
He has given me an abundance of love.
I may have loss the physical being of my father but his love lives in me
forever and ever. This birthday was a
little harder than the ones before but no less special. For the favor the Lord has bestowed is not
unnoticed and never taken for granted.
Who
knows what this next year will bring? I
don’t have a crystal ball……that’s okay.
I will be ready for what is to come my way……..grateful, humble and
blessed.
Happy
Birthday to me!!!
Love
you all!!!
